Wait.
For just a little longer.
For tomorrow.
For later.
For seven, no, ten years.
For the future.
I've spent my whole life,
Sitting on the hard chairs in the waiting room.
It's time for me to get up.
The Colour of Bedtime by BreathingIsOptional, literature
Literature
The Colour of Bedtime
Bedtime is white skin
cream tea
green pillows
saltpepperblackwhite blankets
greyblackblack clothes
pinkwhitepink allergy pills
tanred scars
bloodred sheets
redblack darkness
yellow fear
crimson lust
lime envy
blue regret
white memories
every shade of the rainbow but sleep
It hurts so much.
Everything inside of me hurts.
I can't catch my breath.
My tears are dehydrating me in their frequency falling.
I'd trade anything to be numb. Even for a moment.
Any other night, you'd be wiping the tears from my eyes.
Tonight, I do it on my own.
It feels all wrong, but I do it anyway.
You're not here;
You're in a warmer place, maybe a better place.
And I'll tell myself what I told you;
'It hurts because I love you.'
That's why it hurts;
Because, you're gone now.
So far away.
Dear Soul,
I know how strong you are; how strong of a person that you are. I know your character, and how quickly you'll fight for someone who needs it, worthy cause or not. I know how many threats you make, and how many you keep, and I know you'd die protecting someone you don't even know.
B U T
I know that when someone makes fun of people with different sexualities, you want to jump in and defend them, but most of the time, you don't. When they sneer 'Faggot' in the hallway, you want to step over and throw a punch; deliver a witty barb, but you don't. When you hear people use 'Gay' as an insult, you want to explain what it really means,
Teach me to love you
Teach me to be a part of you
Teach me to be happy
Teach me to hold my tongue
Teach me when to be silent
Teach me to be ashamed
Teach me to bleed
What is a lie but a promise to be truthful later?
We decieve each other to protect each other.
Me, from you,
And you, from me.
I promise that I'm eating.
You promise that you're being careful.
But I can see your bruises
And you can see my bones.
***
I don't understand
Everything you say to me so sweetly
'You're always with me.'
'You're in my soul.'
'We're a part of each other.'
Where does it go when you're sad?
Do you forget that I love you?
I've never forgotten that you love me.
***
Step back
Put the knife down
Don't be afraid
I'm here.
Put your arms around me
I'm always here
I promise.